99 Easy Steps to Austrian Integration

A fast-paced English comedy show about surviving — and loving — life in Austria.

An American’s Guide to Becoming Austrian (In Only 99 Easy Steps)
Two years ago, NYC comedian Terence Hartnett moved to Vienna for love.Now, after navigating bureaucracy, Kaffeehaus culture, German grammar traps, recycling rules, and the mysterious emotional rhythm of Austrian friendliness, he’s ready to present his definitive — and completely foolproof — 99-step integration plan.

This is English-language Kabarett meets sharp stand-up comedy — rapid-fire, intelligent, self-aware, and deeply relatable for anyone who has ever felt like an outsider in a new country.

What the Show Explores
How to Order at a Viennese Kaffeehaus(The service is half as attentive as in America… but so is the expected tip.) & How to Master Public Transport(If it looks free, it probably isn’t.) A1 German Confusion(“Wer ist die toilette?” does NOT mean what you think it means.) Austrian (Un)FriendlinessAustrians aren’t unfriendly — they just take three years to decide if they like you. RecyclingEnough said.Cultural Relativity, Explained Through LaughterKurt Vonnegut once wrote:“Cultural relativity is defensible, attractive. It’s a source of hope.”As an outsider, Hartnett looks at Austrian culture with curiosity instead of criticism. What seems strange through American eyes becomes funny, thoughtful, and sometimes even beautiful.